There’s this boy at work who works in the dairy dept. and my friend and I are obsessed with his eating habits because once he ate 2 yogurts, a container of cottage of cheese and a Naked juice in 15 minutes and today we watched his put root beer in his iced tea. 

My boyfriend & I usually have sex on the floor behind his bed so when you walk in you can only see the bed. And we were having sex one day & I was on top and his mom walks in and she can't see him but she can see me with my shirt on, and she's asking me where he is and I'm sitting on his dick & he's on the bottom trying not to laugh and moving around to make me make faces. And we were talking for like 15 minutes while I was sitting on his dick and having pleasant talk with his mom. NEVER AGAIN.


how to get girls to like you:

  1. compliment their eyebrows
  2. eat them out

(via pizza)


The sky is fucking unreal today

(via tacomeat123)

*friend sees me drunk and leaning on the wall*
friend: you good?
*i look up slowly*
me: are YOU GOOD?! shit im just chillin


Dietmar Voorworld is an artist who takes rocks, pebbles and leaves he finds in nature and turns them into memorable pieces of circular land art.


(via feralcats)

How to finger a girl


1. Use your tongue

(via stillsupreme)

emptyknight said: wow fair, that’d throw me too. is it any good? what’s it called?

It’s called “A for Alibi”.  Im reading it for my detective fiction class and so far she’s my fave detective.  I personally really enjoyed this book. check it out yo! 

emptyknight said: were there no gender pronouns for the entire first half of the book?

No! it was written in first person and so the first indication was when someone said “miss millhone” and i was like whoa wtf so i googled it and she’s a girl. and i read the entire book jacket and no where on the entire book does it say that kinsey millhone is a female detective oops